So Much for Thanksgiving
by BewilderedLoca
Summary: AU. Kagome decides to have Thanksgiving being thrown in her house... and alot of things happen so to say. Be thankful your holidays aren't like this!
1. Talking about floats

**BewilderedLoca**  
**  
Disclaimer; I do not own IY nor do I own the holiday lol. But I do know the scheme those Hallmark bastards are setting for you turkey murderers! You're EVIL I SAY EVIIIILLL!!! *rants on***

Miroku; Why does it comes to this? *watches men in white jackets pull Authoress away*

Bankotsu; *shrugs* It's not her fault. Her U.S history teacher gave her truth and... she just couldn't handle it. Sad it had to end this way.

Hiten; You really think, she'll leave something like _this_ alone. I think not! She never leaves us ALONE!!! She's always sticking around to irritate someone until they can't take it any more!

Sango; Oh for the love of- WHERE'S THE TURKEY!?! WE CAN'T HAVE A THANKSGIVING FIC WITHOUT A DAMNED _**TURKEY**_!!

Kagura; WHERE THE HELL DID ALL OF THE CRANBERRY SAUCE GO!?!

Sesshoumaru; WHERE THE HELL IS MY WINE?! I CANNOT STAY _SANE_ WORKING WITH THESE IDIOTS UNLESS I HAVE MY WINE... RUM, SOMETHING TO NUMB THE PAIN AWAY!!

Kouga; WHERE'S MY MANGO SMOOTHIE?!

InuYasha; WHY THE HELL IS EVERYONE SCREAMING!? *holds head* WHY DO I HAVE A HEADACHE!!?

Hiten; This never ends perfectly! WHYY!??

~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~eatyourturkeyssavetheturkeys~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~eatyourturkeyssavetheturkeys~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~

"Mmmm! God, you gotta love that smell!" InuYasha sniffed while lazily flipping through channels.

"The smell of women working!" Hiten called out. "Yep that's the best scent around!"

"Among _other_ things..." All the guys snickered as InuYasha turn the news channel on.

"Oh wow, look the parade" Miroku pointed, "They never get tired of Charlie Brown do they?"

"I get tired of him. That badly drawn cartoon character needs to be put to rest of Pete's sake!" Kouga bristled. "Just like Felix the cat."

"Oooh! Bugs Bunny!" InuYasha pointed out.

"Screw Bugs Bunny." Kouga grumbled.

"Shut up, Daffy!" InuYasha called out.

"I hate Daffy too!" Kouga protested.

"Jeez Kouga, why don't you like?"

"Anything affiliated with kids." he told him before he got distracted, "Spiderman!! Ooh and the black one too!"

"Hey back off. Spiderman's my favorite superhero!" Bankotsu argued, standing up.

"Is not!" Kouga argued back.

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Is not!"

"Is too!"

"Shut up!" yelled one of the girls who were busy in the kitchen, cooking for the men. Scared they would destroy the food if they cooked.

"Sorry babe!" Bankotsu hollered before slumping on his seat. "Is it me or are the girls pissed off every holiday now?"

"What do you mean?" Hiten asked.

"They got more easily irritated and annoyed than usual." Bankotsu blinked.

"Well look who you're dating. Kagura. The wind-"

"KOUGA I SWEAR TO GOD, FINISH THAT SENTENCE AND I'LL THROW HOT BOILING WATER ON YOU AND SLAP YOUR WITH THE PORK SHOULDER MYSELF!!!"

"On second thought. Yeah the girls are acting up." Kouga quickly said as he heard the girls go back to cooking.

"Haha, Kouga's scared of a girl." Hiten teased.

"A girl with a PMS disease." he muttered before Kagura flung a boiling ot spoon at the back of Kouga's head. "OWWW!!"

"KEEP IT UP AND I'LL GET SERIOUS!!"

"ALRIGHT, JUST GO BACK TO COOKING YOUR FOOD!! GOD THAT HURT!" Kouga exclaimed while looking back at the guys, who stifling laughter. "What's so funny?!"

"Nothing." Hiten stated, "You guys, maybe we should get Ayame to kiss his boo boo." they all snickered.

"You're all a bunch of assholes." Kouga muttered as he continued to watch the parade.

"Ah, you're no fun, Kouga... hmm time to pick on someone else other than Kouga... hmmm." Bankotsu thought it over.

"Hey Sesshoumaru!" Hiten shouted aloud as the elder dog brother groaned.

"Go away. I was enjoying myself with you not harassing me."

"Well, we're bored with Kouga." Bankotsu spoke.

"Yeah, he's old news. We needed someone new anyway." Hiten shrugged. "So you're our first in a while, Joe!"

"Sesshoumaru."

"Whatever." Hiten waved. "Ooh Batman!"

"I'd prefer Superman." InuYasha said.

"No one cares about Superman. Batman and Spiderman top him!" Bankotsu pressed.

"They do not!" InuYasha bristled.

"They do so. More than a million times than you can imagine!" Bankotsu said.

"LIES!!!" InuYasha shouted until he stopped and caught the whiff of food. He got and walked towards the kitchen, before he could push himself in the kitchen the girls started to hurl utensils and random kitchen items at him causng him to run back to his seat on the couch.

"Ha ha." Kouga smirked while InuYasha glared.

"So, Sesshoumaru you like Thanksgiving?" Miroku started, not wanting to get caught in a fight before the other guys.

"Personally... no. I just particpate with the holiday activites because of the girls." he stated while leaning his head on his hand.

"Why don't you like it?" Miroku asked him as Sesshoumaru groaned. "Because it's a stupid holiday."

"No it's not!" Kouga argued, "It's the best holiday ever!"

"I thought Chirstmas was your favorite holiday." Sesshoumaru tried to change the subject but Kouga saw through it.

"Wrong, It's _Ayame's_ favorite holiday. That, Thanksgiving and Valentine's Day." he told him. "I like it because she'll dress up as an indian girl or in this negligee she bought for me last year and feed me food and then afterwards she-"

"No more sex-capades stories. If Kagome's gonna make me wait it out, then damn it don't you _**dare**_ say a word about your nights." InuYasha pressed on.

"You're just mad, I get some tail and you have to wait for yours." Kouga stuck his tongue out as InuYasha glared at him.

"Something tells me, this Thanksgiving dinner isn't going to go well as planned." Miroku covered his face.

~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~eatyourturkeyssavetheturkeys~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~~eatyourturkeyssavetheturkeys~~~~~~xxxxxxxxx~~~~~~~

**A/N: LOL, boy is this going to be a fun Thanksgiving fic :D**


	2. P is for Pilgrims

**BewilderedLoca**

***comes back from Attorney's office* Okay, I don't have any gain from IY nor do I **_**know**_** the ideal behind Thanksgiving... with it's evil defiled ways... *officer pulls up legal papers* Yup! I know nothing! not a ting at all!! *laughs like a sick maniac***

Naraku; And people think, _**I'M**_ creepy... *shudders*

Kikyou; Well in a way you are. Especially with what you did in the next chapter.

Naraku; What about it?

Kikyou; You scared away the neighbors!

Naraku; WELL, maybe next time, they should mind their own business and pretend they never saw a *gets tackled a mob of penguins*AHHHHH!!!

Kikyou; What the hell!?

Hakudoshi; There they are! *runs towards the army of penguins* Daddy's very mad you! ALL of YOU! Now, *snaps fingers* Let's go kill some Wendy's employers! I want my 12 oz. frosties!! *marches off*

Kikyou; *holds head and walks away* I'm starting to see things...  
****

"So what's wrong with Thanksgiving?" Bankotsu asked, ignoring Kouga and InuYasha arguing and Miroku whining.

"It's a terrible blood thirsty holiday." Sesshoumaru frowned.

"You feel bad for the turkeys?"

"No. Don't you know the _real_ story behind Thanksgiving?" he asked them and they stood quiet. "Don't tell me... you don't know, none of you?"

"Never paid attention in class." Hiten quipped while Bankotsu nodded in agreement.

"Same here."

"I think it had something to do with the Vikings?" InuYasha wondered while Kouga scofffed. "They were Pilgrims, you idiot. Pilgrims."

"Okay Kouga, seemingly you're the only one who could identify the _right_ group of people so far... what did the pilgrims do?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"They took over the land my great great great grandfather owned!!" he shouted as Sesshoumaru covered his face, "Wrong."

"How am I wrong? The Pilgrims and Puritans murder the Native Americans and my ancestors then took advantage of them!

"LIES!! My mom told me they were friends!" InuYasha said while Kouga and Sesshoumaru stared as if he started growing another head.

"I'm going to use the bathroom." Miroku excused himself before leaving Inuyasha by himself in the living room with the guys.

"Well you're mother is either stupid or straight up lied to you. They weren't friends." Kouga said as Sesshoumaru rubbed his temples.

"Explain yourself then." InuYasha crossed his arms.

"Look InuYasha, The Pilgrims came uninvited to America due to the restriction of freedom they had in Europe. They came with nothing and not enough resources so they were starving to death and the Native Americans decided to help them out figuring it be a nice thing to do. So they taught them how to get food, plant crops and how to survive in the New Worlds then they all have a great big feast to celebrate the harvest and everything as such."

All boys listened intently as he continued on with story, "Next thing you know, the Pilgrims and Puritans began to find them inferior and killed them, commiting genocide with each and almost every tribe until a huge majority of them were gone. They killed children, women and elderly people until there was no one left. So in honesties here, we're celebrating the day when we took advantage of the Native Americans and killed their people for their lands and resources. That's what Thanksgiving is about."

"But what about the turkeys and the happiness and unity of the Native Americans and Pilgrims they have on almost every store?" Bankotsu asked.

"Those are propganda for the holiday season. That's why the Turkey farms and Hallmark Thanksgiving greeting cards, get an increase in their profits and gain more bang for their buck within every passing year."

"Wow, Sesshoumaru... ruin my 20th Thanksgiving. Thanks alot you bung hole." Bankotsu quipped before getting up.

"Well that's not..." Hiten frowned, "_polite_."

Kouga stood up, "Well, My ancestors deserved to earn their values and precious treasures back!" he proclaimed before grabbing his jacket.

"Kouga wait! Where you going!? The food's almost done!" Bankotsu called after him from the kitchen.

"Out! I know my rights!" Kouga ignored him and walked out the door, shutting it with a slight loud slam.

InuYasha looked back and did a double take, "Wait! How come he's allowed back there and I'm not!?" InuYasha yelled from his seat.

"Where do you think he's going?" Hiten asked while Sesshoumaru shrugged; ignoring InuYasha again.

"He'll probably make a fool out of himself in front of the channel 11 news." he answered as Bankotsu made his way back with a plate of cheesecake.

"Who gave you that cheesecake?!" InuYasha frowned, "I WANT SOME!!" he got up and ran to the kitchen again.

"Abi gave it to me." Bankotsu said before eating the sweet dish.

Hiten gasped, "How come she gave you one and not ME!?"

"Because she says I'm cuter and I behaved better on my way over here."

"You threw a brick into a car window and almost set a squirrel on fire and I'm still labeled as misbehaving?!" Hiten argued.

"InuYasha, get out of the kitchen!" Ayame yelled. "You'll ruin the pumpkin pie I just made!!"

"Pretty much... yea." Bankotsu nodded before Hiten lounged himself at him. "MINE!! MY DESSERT!! MINE!!"

"Whew, that took awhile." Miroku sighed before taking a seat by Sesshoumaru again.

"InuYasha, dont you dare touch the chocolate chip cookies!!" Abi shouted as Hiten frozed as he stood up straight.

"Chocolate chip cookies?!" Hiten got up and dashed for the kitchen. Sesshoumaru and Miroku sighed as they heard crashing from the living room.

"HITEN DON'T YOU DARE!! STAY BACK!" Abi snapped. "STEP AWAY FROM THE COOKIES!!"

"Hiten, be careful with that!" Kikyou reprimanded, "You can hurt somebody with that!"

"HITEN GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN!! GET OUT NOW!!" Kagura screamed as Hiten growled.

"I just wanted some cookies!!" Hiten hissed.

"Yeah me too!! Bankotsu has something and we don't!" InuYasha said as Kagome groaned. "That's not fair!"

"FINE!! There! There's your cookies!" Kagome pushed them out with a plate of cookies before going back inside. "Now GET OUT!!"

"FINALLY I'M NOTICED!!"

"OH PUT A SOCK IN IT!!" Kagura seethed.

"Why don't you put a sock in it, KAGURA!!?" Hiten snapped back before taking a bite out of the cookies. He spat them back out and threw the rest on the floor and stomped on them. "THESE ARE SUGAR COOKIES!! I **HATE** SUGAR COOKIES!!"

"WHY DOES MINE TASTE LIKE COFFEE BEANS AND RUBBER BANDS!?" InuYasha spat his out as well before gagging. "I COULD'VE DIED!!"

"How do I end up in places like these?" Sesshoumaru asked himself before pinching the bridge of his nose. "Next time, the girls are going by themselves."


	3. What the Children saw

**BewilderedLoca**

**Alright, the disclaimer I had set for you guys was trampled by... Hakudoshi's army of penguins! Yeah! That's was happened. They destroyed it when I went to get some 12 oz. frosties!**

Hakudoshi; You! It's all your fault! You hogged all of the ice cream from the frosty machine!

**Ooops! I was hungry...**

Hakudoshi; LIES!!! *snaps fingers* Get her!

**Enjoy the story, folks! *runs away***

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"How the hell did I get myself in this mess?" Naraku grumbled while keeping his focus on the road.

Renkotsu was sitting next to him, looking out the window, in search for a supermarket.

"Why am I the one, who has to go out and get the sodas, huh? Why me!?" Naraku complained while Renkotsu groaned.

"Maybe it's because you came late," Suikotsu pointed at Renkotsu, "And you brought the girls spoiled cheese danish." He glanced over at Naraku.

"Merry Christmas, Kikyou." Naraku muttered with a smirk as he remembered her reaction to the dish. "Ah, Sweet sweet revenge."

"She could've died!"

"One less person to feed." He grumbled while Suikotsu frowned, "But the innocent one ate some too."

"Kagome isn't innocent." Naraku said as Suikotsu shook his head, "No, not her. The other one."

"Oh..." Naraku blinked, "Well, I help her with her sweet tooth problem."

"You truly are a monster." Renkotsu groaned as he looked over and found the supermarket. Naraku pulled into the parking a lot and parked the car.

"How many sodas they wanted again?" he asked as Renkotsu blinked and looked at Suikotsu, who paused. "Well?"

"Well, the guys are savages when it comes to drinks and food and the kids usually don't get the first servings so, you might wanna buy a life stock." He said.

"What? Bankotsu has three stomachs to digest all those Sunkist bottles?" Naraku joked while both brothers looked at him, seriously. "You can't be serious."

"We're too afraid and cheap to test that theory." Renkotsu told him.

"Something similar to that _has_ happened before." Suikotsu said Naraku gave them both a look and got out the car, walking towards the market.

"And I thought Bankotsu was the weird one…" he muttered to himself.

Meanwhile back at the house, the guys were still watching TV, the girls were playing jump rope outside, the boys were playing video games in Shippou's room and the women working in a tight humid kitchen preparing food for mass, in the house. Everything was tranquil and calmed down for the most part… until the parade finished…

Hiten yawned and stretched on the couch, "So what do you wanna watch now?" He asked.

"How about we go outside and toss the good ole' pigskin?" Kouga suggested while Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes, "Are you insane?" he asked.

"Sorry I forgot who I was talking to." Sesshoumaru held his head, "Don't you idiots remember what happened to you _last year_?"

Both boys stood quiet. "Were they in the hospital?" InuYasha brought up while Sesshoumaru glanced over at him.

"_**ALL**_ of us were in the hospital. Due to Miroku's and my broken arm, Hiten's and Kouga's broken legs, Bankotsu's sprained wrist and InuYasha's sprained ankles."

"Sheesh, you always seem to remember the bad times, don't you Sesshoumaru?" he said. "What about the happy times?"

"You mean the times, when you almost killed or drove everyone _you_ know insane."

"Define whom." Bankotsu challenged as Sesshoumaru huffed. "See, you got nothing on me. So I claim the victor." He grinned as Sesshoumaru looked over at him and growled, "I'll maim you."

"Now now, there's no need for violence, is there?" Miroku brought up while sitting up between them two.

Sesshoumaru hissed at one side while Bankotsu made a face. "Forget I ever said anything…"

"We can… _watch_ football." Kouga thought over as InuYasha scoffed, "Wow, how many brain cells collided to come up with that _idea_?"

"How many teeth do you think you'll lose, once I sock you in the face?" Kouga raised his fist.

"Alright guys!" Hiten pushed them away from eachother. "There are better things to be doing then fighting."

"Like?" InuYasha said.

"Playing Scrabble." Hiten grinned.

"Whoa, I just remembered some thing," Kouga brought up. "I _have_ a life!"

"HEY DO _**NOT**_ DISS THE ALMIGHTY 'SCRABBLE' GAME!!!" Hiten hissed while pointing an accusing finger on his face. "NEVER!!"

"Ooops! Scrabble sucks. Scrabble sucks." Kouga insulted as Hiten growled.

"No it's doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No it's doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"No it's doesn't!"

"Yes, it does!"

"Did you even play Scrabble, Kouga?" Miroku asked as Kouga crossed his and closed his eyes. "Nope!"

"Then why are you saying the game sucks?"

"Because I CAN say, it sucks. Why? You wanna play 'God' now, Miroku?" Kouga snorted while Miroku frowned sourly. "Because two can play this game."

Miroku started to stammer at words before deciding to stay shut. Knowing, nothing wise would come out of his mouth then. Kouga got up and walked towards the kitchen, "Hey, where are you going?" Bankotsu asked, out of curiosity as Kouga pouted, "'Yame, Miroku called me a couple of bad names and he hurt my feelings." He whined as Miroku groaned.

"I wonder _what_ Ayame sees in him." He sighed, "She's a bright, young and intelligent girl with a lot of potential and she chooses to spend her life with the-"

"-idiot of a wolf." Both him and Sesshoumaru said in unison as they looked over and saw Ayame kissing her childish fiancé in the cheek before handing him a plate of one of her many exotic dishes for dessert.

"Look at him!" Miroku snarled, "He gets a kiss on the cheek and a big plate of tiramisu while the rest of us get the boiling spoon whipped on our backs!"

"Someone sounds jealous." Bankotsu smirked.

"You smirk at thought of Kagura beating you, if you step one foot into the kitchen." Sesshoumaru stated as Bankotsu rolled his eyes.

"She's likes to play rough. No harm there." Bankotsu grinned, "We play _hardball_ in the bedroom all of the time…"

"Too much info!" InuYasha covered his ears as Bankotsu's grin widened. "And you know what else we like to do?"

"I don't want to know! Don't tell me!" InuYasha groaned as Bankotsu whispered the rest in his ear. "I SAID I DIDN'T WANT TO KNOW!!!"

"More fun to torture you with, my dear." Bankotsu said in a granny-like voice before running away from InuYasha.

"GET BACK HERE AND TAKE IT LIKE A MAN!!"

"YOU HAVE TO COME AND CATCH ME FIRST, YOU LOON!!"

---

Abi let out an exhausted sigh, placing down her knife and wiped the thin sheen of sweat on her forehead.

"How many yams are peeled so far?" Sango asked, piling up the brown sugar in a measuring cup. Abi sighed and looked over at the two pots filled with peeled naked yams, "Approximately forty three yams."

"Wow." Kagome drawled, "Don't you think that's enough?"

"Kagome do you honestly know how deep a man's stomach is?" Kagura asked while Kagome stared at her blankly. "It couldn't be _that_ deep..."

"InuYasha must be a starving puppy then." Kagura said as she mixed the ingredients into the bowl for a macaroni salad. "No wonder he's looks forward to this holiday _every_ year."

"Hey! You're trying to make it look as if I don't feed him at all. InuYasha can eat this entire house if he wanted too." Kagome argued.

"My Bankotsu can swallow up two continents and chug the Nile River down his throat with his arms lopped off." Kagura rolled her eyes. "Think you can beat that?" she asked, smirking knowing she successfully crawled in her skin.

Kagome stood quiet and turned her back towards her, "Ha! I knew it was good to be true!" she laughed out loud before Kikyou harshly nudged her. "OWW!!"

"Stop being rude." she said in a clipped tone while Kagura crossed her arms, "She started it!"

"And I'll finish it!" she clipped as Kagura blinked before going back to her macaroni salad, mixing with apathetically. "Now, Ayame. What's the status on the pecan pies and the rest of your baked home made goods?"

"Done! With a couple of minutes to spare!" Ayame saluted before adding the last finishing touches on her pecan pies.

"Kagome, how's the stuffing and mashed potatoes?"

"They're good to go."

"Sango, how's the pork shoulder doing?"

"Great. They're dripping with gravy."

"What about the candy yams?"

"I need more brown sugar." Abi said before Ayame gave her the leftover brown sugar she had left from her pecan pies. "Dinner rolls?"

"Done."

"Kagura?" Kikyou asked as Kagura pointed at the refrigerator, "Both macaroni and potato salads are in there. Ready to go. How's your turkey?" she asked as Kikyou looked over and pulled the silver lid off. "Good to go."

Ayame squealed, "I can't wait to serve the food!"

Kagome sighed before grabbing Ayame with her, "Let's go find the kids and let them get their paws on the food first before those creatures called 'men' come and claim it as theirs." she said.

As she and Ayame could make it through the hall, there was screams heard. Both from outside and inside the house. Then there was the booming laughter in the living where the guys were currently found rolling on the floor in laughter. The kitchen became more crowded as Souten, Rin and Kanna hid behind Abi, Kagura and Kikyou as Naraku came in dressed as in huge morbid looking turkey costume while he dropped the bags of soda down on the floor.

Soon after, the kitchen was also booming with gasps and laughter as Naraku growled, "IT'S NOT FUNNY!!"

"That's embarassing." Abi pointed out, stifling a giggle as Naraku snarled, "They refused to let me by anything unless we dressed up and got more customers!!"

"_We_?" Kikyou asked in a high-pitched tone, trying to contain her amusement as all hell broke loose once she saw Suikotsu and Renkotsu dressed up in a cuddly sheep costumes.

Kagome snickered and opened her mouth before Renkotsu pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Not **one** word."

**HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!!!**


	4. Dining with Two Nuts

**BewilderedLoca**

Okay folks, being that Thanksgiving is over, this story will be late due to the fact I like a challenge and I started this last week so yeah... I don't care because I knew the story wouldn't be done in on time but yeah. Just the fact that I tried and did it anyway was awesome!

**So yeah. It's about to come to an end.**

Hiten; Thank God.

Bankotsu; Hey! Wasn't he *points at Kouga* suppose to be on the news?!

**Ummm... yeah. You'll see him later on once the final chapter is done.**

Bankotsu; But how come he's here right now? Shouldn't he make himself look like a fool!

Kouga; But I already did. I got caught up by *spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler* Thus, I smelt food and I came back home :D

Bankotsu; Oh... but wouldn't *spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler spoiler* come back for us?

Kouga; Possibly.

Renkotsu; Oh Gods, we're fucked.

**Bwhahahahahahahaha! Enjoy :D**

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Naraku, Renkotsu and Suikotsu were not one happy flock of sheep as they sat down on the large dining room table with scowls marred on their faces as they were the center of attention for the guys smart remarks and the girl's hinting teases. "Maybe we should ask Naraku, how much money we could save for a pack of suckers." InuYasha snickered as Naraku glared. "Just you wait, you living abomination of-"

Kikyou slapped his arm with a spoon, "You shut up and InuYasha you, stop picking on him."

"But he-" he stopped when he stare Kikyou's glare hardened. "Okay..." he frowned and played with his fork while Hiten scoffed.

"Now what?" Kohaku wondered aloud before Souten made a suggestion, "A TOAST!"

"No. That's gay." Hiten snorted before Abi glowered at him.

"Don't be such grouch, Hiten." Ayame pouted before lifting an empty glass bottle. "I think it's a good idea."

"Really then where's the wine?"

"I dunno." she shrugged while Kagura snarled, "What are you talking about? I just stole a box of wine not too long ago!"

"KAGURA!!" Kikyou called out.

Bankotsu frowned, "Kagura, we were supposed to stay shut about _that_."

"Oh well! It's all out in the open now!" she snapped before crossing her arms.

"Okay, if she stole all that wine then where's could have most of it gone off too?" Kagome pointed out before hearing loud giggles. Everyone looked around to see where it was coming from, only to be surprised it came from two individuals; Sesshoumaru and Miroku

"I've got lovely bunch of coconuts.... dingo bat." Miroku sang as a drunken Sesshoumaru cut him off.

"No no, that isn't how it's supposed to go." Sesshoumaru slurred before Miroku gave him a dazed confused look.

"It's not?" he said before Sango gasped, "You really are drunk aren't you!?"

"Huh... OWW. Not too loud Sango, m'deeeearrrr." Miroku slurred before leaning on her. "My mind tastes funny... like it's been abused."

"How on earth can you brain have the five- never mind. I don't want know." Sango covered her face before trying to sit him up right.

"No..." Sesshoumaru responded awhile later before Kikyou was staring incredously at him. "The song's suppose to go like this, _I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts there they are standing in a row, big ones small ones some as big as your head..._"

"Sesshoumaru?" Kikyou called out while snapping her fingers.

Sesshoumaru ignored her and kept on singing the merry tune, "_Give 'em a twist, a flick of the wrist, that's wut the show man said now that I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts_."

"Sesshoumaru." Kikyou repeated again as he stood up

_"Everybody knows they'll make me rich_." he sang out loud before collapsing back on the chair and leaned his entire weight on Kikyou's lap and on InuYasha lap as well. He stared up at InuYasha with a dazed look and grinned, "Hi mommy. Do you love me? I love you."

"C'mon Sesshoumaru get a grip!" InuYasha barked before pushing his head off his lap. "INUYASHA!!" Kikyou scolded him, catching Sesshoumaru from falling completely to the ground.

"What are you trying to accomplish?! Your brother's drunk!" she scolded him while he frowned at pointed at him.

"He started it."

"Way to go, InuYasha play the reverse role on your brother." Renkotsu rolled his eyes while drinking his Sprite. "Man, this soda's flat."

"Sesshoumaru, c'mon get up on the chair... No don't sit that way, close your legs. Stop acting like slut, sit up straight." Kikyou instructed him while Sesshoumaru pushed her sleeve off and smirked. "Sesshoumaru stop. Now is not the time to do this."

"But I wanna make you feel pretty." he commented before slouching at her side. Kikyou sighed in frustration, "You know what, I'll leave you there. Just don't touch anything."

"Okay honey." he hiccupped before nuzzling his head on her shoulder. "You're warm."

Some of the children came in and sat at the only available seats left. "The cable's out." Shippou said as Bankotsu chuckled.

"Who needs cable? These two are more entertaining." He nodded his at both Miroku and Sesshoumaru. "Sesshoumaru's being a sleaze and Miroku's dumb as fuck."

"Hey! I heard that!" Miroku shouted from the opposite side of the table. "D-Don't make f-fun of of him or mee li-like that! He n-neveerr did anything to you!"

"I could give you an encyclopedia." Kouga commented before waving his hand. "I'm hungry, when are we gonna eat?"

"Well soon-" Kagome started before Miroku cut her off. "Hey Sango what's this?" he asked lifting up a fork.

Sango looked at him and remembered the effects of alcohol influencing him, to be this clueless. "That's a fork."

"What's this?" he asked, lifting up a knife.

"That's a knife." she groaned.

"What does it do?"

"What do you 'what does it do'? What does it _look_ like it can do?!" Sango asked.

Miroku shrugged, "Fight off pirates and aliens."

"Pirates?" Sango arched a brow. "What on EARTH is wrong with you?" Miroku blanked out.

"General Ulysses Grant, is that you?" Miroku asked looking past Sango, staring straight at Suikotsu. "Ummm...? Maybe."

Miroku wobbled a bit to stand up as he saluted. "Sir! The enemy is attacking one of our main forts. I suggest we call the militia!"

"Oh boy. Study The Civil War much, Miroku?" Hiten groaned before he got and walked over, slinging his arm over his shoulder.

"But sir! We must go fight and send for our soldiers now before the South attack our precious strong holds!" Miroku pleaded while Hiten stared at him for awhile before nodding his head.

"We survived the long war Miroku. The South surrendered and we won. Now it's time for you rest your... wounds, solider." Hiten blinked before walking Miroku to the living room.

"It was a good fight, sir." Miroku muttered before dropping his head down, blanking out completely.

"Okay... that's one nut out of the way." Bankotsu said before looking over at Sesshoumaru. "Now for him."

Sesshoumaru was quietly sitting in his seat, leaning against Kikyou for support, being a good boy as far as she was concerned... that was until he got distracted and wrecked his little 'good boy' act. "Hey look!" Sesshoumaru swiped a wine glass that was set out on the table and drew a face on it with a marker he found earlier. "I has a new friend."

"That sentence is improper." Naraku grinned, watching the older pompous dog brother make himself look like an idiot; for once. Now he had something concrete to annoy him about.

"His name is Fred Wilson. I shall call him Freddy, because his name is too long." Sesshoumaru stated, showing everyone his new 'friend'. "Freddy, Freddy."

"This can't get any better!" Bankotsu laughed as Hiten started tearing, "Where's the camera when you need one!?"

"Freddy meet my younger half brother InuYasha, my adopted daughter Rin and the current love of my life, Kikyou. Guys say hi to him. Freddy already said hi to you." The three stared at him and looked at 'Freddy' nervously.

"Sesshoumaru, you're scaring me." InuYasha said, lowing his arm down. "I'm actually worried about you."

"Why? Freddy's a nice guy!" Sesshoumaru frowned, "Tell him Freddy!" he lifted the glass in his face again as InuYasha stared at the glass and then at Sesshoumaru worried.

"Freddy's a fine man of stature. He works at Wendy's and fights crime at night! Tell him Freddy!"

"I'm taking Sesshoumaru doesn't have much tolerance for liquor, now does he?" Abi asked as Suikotsu shook his head. "I don't think so."

"What are you talking about? He's a good drinking buddy!" Renkotsu defended him as Bankotsu looked at him. "How would you know?"

"Who do you think I see most of the time when I _go out for milk_?" Renkotsu groaned as Bankotsu gasped.

"But I thought you went out for milk!" Renkotsu gave him a weird look and stared over at Kagura. "How do you-"

"I manage... Let's just leave it at that." Kagura said, covering her face.

"Say Kagura... what type of wine did he drink?" Kikyou asked, holding Sesshoumaru as he struggled to free himself.

Kagura blinked before picking up a discarded bottle. "Wine? Wait, Bankotsu you took the wrong box! This is sparkling apple cinder! Not wine!"

"Oh no..." Kikyou groaned before Sesshoumaru started to kick.

"HEY KIKYOU, LET ME GO!!" he yelled, "KOUGA AND INUYASHA ARE PLANNING TO KILL FREDDY!! I HAVE TO GO SAVE HIM!!"

"Why what's wrong with cinder?" Ayame asked as Kikyou blew one stray bang out of the way. "He's get too out of control."

"I couldn't tell." Hakudoshi said as she added, "It's different when he drinks in private though... Sesshoumaru stop moving around so much!"

"INUYASHA GIVE HIM BACK!"

"No Sesshoumaru, it's for your own good!" InuYasha shouted while trying to wrangle his arm free and toss 'Freddy' to Kouga.

"Besides, Freddy has... leukemia!" Kouga lied. "It's his time to go."

"Freddy's doesn't have leukemia, you dumb lying wolf!" Sesshoumaru snapped before Kikyou's grip loosened and launched himself at Kouga, causing Freddy to land on Renkotsu's lap.

"Oh crap." Renkotsu said before Sesshoumaru looked up and jumped on Renkotsu. "GIVE FREDDY BACK!!"

'Freddy' then flew over to Ayame's plate, she then tossed it to Abi, then at Naraku. It started to become a game of 'hop potato' until Hiten came back from the living room. "Okay, that's for Miroku... WHAT THE HELL JUST HAPPENED!?" he exclaimed as he saw 'Freddy' being tossed around and Sesshoumaru jumping on the wrong person. "I leave you guys for one minute and the dining room looks like a car ran through here!"

"Hiten catch Freddy!!" Kouga shouted while he, InuYasha, Bankotsu tried to pin Sesshoumaru down.

"Freddy?! Who the hell is Freddy?!"

"The wine glass with a happy face on it!" Kohaku hollered as Hiten arched a brow. "What the HELL is going HERE!?"

"HITEN, JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP AND KILL FREDDY!!" Abi shouted, her clothes were roughed up, wet with water.

"Who on earth is FREDDY!?!" he shouted as Souten pointed at the wine glass.

"HIM! NOW GET RID OF HIM!!" she shouted before Hiten made his way over and picked up the glass.

"What the hell?" he muttered as he heard everyone scream his name.

"KILL HIM!!" Everyone shouted until Sesshoumaru tried to push the guys off of him. "NOO!!"

"Alright alright already. I don't see what the big deal is..." Hiten said before smashing the glass against the door.

"NOOOOOOO!! FREDDY!!" Sesshoumaru screamed while Hiten walked over to him. Everyone sighed in relief as Hiten blinked, the girls were disheveled, their hair was messed up and tousled as the guys had gravy and other remains of stains on their shirts. "Freddy..." Sesshoumaru whined.

"Get a grip on yourself, why don't you." Hiten told Sesshoumaru as he stared at the remains of 'Freddy'.

"You killed him..." he looked up at Hiten with puppy eyes. "Why did you kill my friend? He didn't do anything wrong..."

"I'll handle this one." Naraku said as he lightly pushed Hiten away, "He was sent from the enemy, to attack us and kill Kikyou."

"How did I get in this mess!?" Kikyou hissed as Naraku waved her harshly, "They wanted to take away everything precious to you. They wanted to take Kikyou and InuYasha along with little Rin. Sell them into drug trafficking so they could sell their bodies for drug uses."

"Oh... well then that's okay then." Sesshoumaru said.

"How many drug trafficking documentaries have you guys watch?" Abi asked Kagura as she shrugged.

"We were bored after fighting about Scrabble." Bankotsu explained, "You'd be surprised what type of stuff they have on HBO."

"I understand why you mention _them_ in it," InuYasha asked pointing at both Kikyou and Rin, who glared at him. "-but why me?"

"Ever heard of homo thugs, InuYasha?" Rin hissed before Kikyou slugged him in the face, knocking him out cold.

"INUYASHA!!" Kagome called out, sitting by his side. "Why did you do that, Kikyou?"

"Hey, turnabout is fair play!" Kikyou scoffed before dragging Sesshoumaru off to the living room. "A little help here?" Kouga and Renkotsu then went off to assist her.

"What do we do now?" Shippou asked as Kagome frowned, "Clean up what we can then eat."

"Finally. Because so far, all I see if house duty." Hiten groaned. "Hiten help me out here, Hiten do this that. It's as if I'm doing all the work here!"

Abi frowned and stared at him long and hard. "Hiten babe... shut up."


	5. Hey look, I'm on TV!

**Bewilderedloca**

Finally, the final chapter of the multi-chaptered holiday special!! Whooooo! But I still don't own the IY characters... WAAAAAAHHHH!! *runs off and cries in corner*

InuYasha; Ummm, Is Sesshoumaru and Miroku still in their _happy_ place?

Sesshoumaru & Miroku; *sings while lying on couch* _In the Jungle, the mighty Jungle, the husband rapes the wiiife!!_

InuYasha; Forget anything I just said. *walks off and bangs head against wall* Why is it my group of 'friend's' are weirder than theirs? *points at Kouga, Hiten and Bankotsu* Why Why WHY?!

Bankotsu; Ooh, he made a dent *stares at wall once InuYasha ran off*

Hiten; Y'know, this wall looks very familiar...

Kouga; I think it used to be the wall in your room .__.

Hiten; Is it? *stares* ... It is my WALL! HOW ON EARTH DID MY WALL GET HERE?!?

**Don't get mad at me. InuYasha was the one who damaged it o.o *watches Hiten chase off after InuYasha* **

**~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ ~!#$#!~ **

After cleaning the mess, Sesshoumaru and Miroku made a few hours prior, the table was remade and luckily the food was hardly touched to tamper with. It remained in it's good shape while the table cover and setting was destroyed. The two drunkards responsible for the mess were asleep or resting on the living room couch as both Sango and Kikyou kept them occupied, if they awoke or tried to cause mayhem then they did before... like before.

"Seems as if those drunkards are calmed down." Hakudoshi remarked as Hiten shrugged. "For now."

"This will be one Thanksgiving I'll never forget." InuYasha moaned as Bankotsu frowned.

"Can't believe you made us clean up your mess." Bankotsu sneered.

"What are you talking about '_our mess_'? This is Sesshoumaru's and Miroku's fault. Not mine." InuYasha said.

"Yeah, but Miroku's _your_ friend and Sesshoumaru is _your_ brother." Bankotsu rolled his eyes.

"Half." InuYasha corrected.

"Whatever. They're still in you're group. Hiten and Kouga are in mines." Bankotsu huffed while Kagome caught Kouga trying to take a piece of food.

"NO! Bad Kouga!" She scolded him while he rubbed his hand. "Ouch."

"I'm hungry." Hiten said, ignoring what happened to Kouga and got swatted away with a large tong. "OWW!!"

"Don't touch the food with your filthy hands!" Abi reprimanded him before he pouted.

"Oh so my hand are infected now? Hey Bankotsu, you have AIDS now." he said, tapping Bankotsu on his arm.

He gasped, "Oh noes, what will I do?" he tapped Kagura. "Sorry babe. Should've gotten yourself tested." he grinned before Kagura scowled.

"I'll get Jakotsu..." she threatened while Bankotsu frowned, "No don't do that. He'll get mad me that I ruined his spa treatment."

"Are you gonna behave?" she said as Bankotsu nodded. "Yes. I'll be a good boy." Hakudoshi smirk and made a whipping sound.

"But can I kill him first?" Bankotsu glared at the younger boy as Ayame pouted.

"Ummm, so how are we going to do this?" she asked, talking to Kagome mainly. "Should we say grace or something?"

"No. I say we dig in now." Kouga stated, reaching in to touch the pork shoulder again, only to be swatted again, if not harder. "OWW!!"

"No touchy." Kagome waggled her finger as Kouga frowned and pointed an accusing finger at her.

"Ayame... she hit me. Aren't you gonna do anything about it?" he whimpered, giving her puppy eyes as Ayame gave him a flat look.

"No. If anything you deserve it." she told him.

"But she...-fine." Kouga sulked and crossed his arms. "So, should we serve Sesshoumaru and Miroku first?"

"I say, they should wait like the rest of us. Miroku and Sesshoumaru don't deserve any special treatment. Just cause they're drunk and weak has NOTHING to do with us." Hiten crossed his arms.

"Yeah it's not our fault they drunk themselves past their limits!" Kouga added.

"Technically it is, if you guys think about it..." Suikotsu brought up and Bankotsu shook his head.

"Nope. Those two did it to themselves." Bankotsu said before adding, "They know it's either me, Kouga or Hiten that makes a fool out of ourselves on holidays and drink out of _our_ limits! Not them!"

"You guys do that on a normal everyday basis. There's nothing special about what you do." Kagura chided as Bankotsu frowned.

"Who's side are you on?" he asked while Kagura shrugged, "I'm playing neutral."

"Why don't we just say Grace and get it over with?" Abi shrugged.

"Because it'll be gay!" Hiten exclaimed before Abi glared at him again. "Fine go ahead. Do what you want. It's not as if I _get_ for it."

Abi sighed and pinch the spot between her nose. "Hiten, we'll go over this when we get home... So who wants to start?"

"I'm thankful to eat and sleep at my house everyday." InuYasha started. "Now can I eat?"

"NO!" everyone shouted as InuYasha cringed, "Alrighty then." he grumbled.

"I'm thankful for having a roof over my head and food to put on the table." Kagome said.

"Food that doesn't get burned for once." Bankotsu murmured, causing Kouga and Hiten to laugh. "Shut up!" Kagome snarled.

"I'm thankful for my health." Suikotsu said as others agreed.

"I'm thankful; I'm not registered in an asylum yet." Renkotsu groaned.

"I'm thankful for being beautiful." Bankotsu grinned while Kagura rolled her eyes as Renkotsu mouthed, 'Why?'

"Like I said, I manage! Now, I'm thankful for not being in jail." Kagura said, checking her nails. "That's for one."

"I'm thankful for everything that happened in my life." Ayame smiled as Hakudoshi raised a brow. "Even being proposed to _that_?" he pointed at Kouga.

"HEY!!" Kouga snarled as Ayame smiled and kissed his cheek, instantly calming him down. "Of course."

"Why can't you two be like that?" Souten said looking at Hiten and Abi.

"Maybe if she let me screw her a couple of times in the back, then yeah..." he motioned at Ayame and Kouga kissing, "We can be just be happy like_ them_."

"Ha. Ha. Ha. That was so funny I forgot to laugh." Abi scowled.

"I wouldn't mind giving you a couple of lessons." Bankotsu grinned while Kagura frowned and retaliated by grabbing his nipple, giving a sharp twist.

"OWWW!!" Bankotsu yelped before kneeling under the table.

"Anyone else?" Kouga said before reaching for a dinner roll this time. "You better not hit me." he looked over at Kagome, only to be slapped by Ayame.

"Don't be greedy! Everyone's not done yet." she retorted while Kouga rolled his eyes. "Who else didn't say anything?!"

"You for one?" Kagura pointed out while he groaned.

"Fine. I'm grateful I'm over that string along over there!" he said pointing at Kagome, "And I'm grateful I didn't have to wait my virginity out like he did!" he finished pointing at InuYasha. He sat back down and looked at Ayame, "There I said my piece, happy?"

"I do NOT string along guys!!" Kagome argued.

"Actually, I can prove you wrong there, Kagome." Hiten started. "Should I bring along exhibit A, B and C..." he pointed at Kouga, InuYasha and paused, "Well Hojo isn't here right now but I think I got my point across."

"Shut up Hiten!!" Kagome hissed.

"Why? I didn't do anything wrong." he feigned guilt as Kagome stuffed a dinner roll in his mouth. "Stuff it, Hiten!"

Hiten growled and stuffed a roll in Kagome's mouth, "Ladies' first!"

"HEY! I thought we were suppose to wait!" InuYasha shouted.

"I guess not, you sexless weenie." Kouga snickered until a corn on a cob was tossed at his face.

"Alright, InuYasha. I see how it is." Kouga snarled, ripping a leg off the turkey threw it at InuYasha, who dodged it and ended up hitting Abi.

"Why you!" Abi reached for a handful of mash potatoes and flunged it at Kouga, missing as it slapped Kagura in the face, instead.

"I'm sorry Kagura-" Abi started to say before Kagura picked up the macaroni salad and dumped the whole thing at Abi, Renkotsu and some on Suikotsu.

Hiten stood up and took a handful of potato salad. "Okay, this means war." he shouted as he threw food at Kagura, "No one throws food at my girlfriend!"

Bankotsu growled and threw the pumpkin pie at Hiten, "And no one throws food at MY GIRLFRIEND!!"

Soon after, everyone began to start a wild food fight; Kagome and Kagura threw the remains of the macaroni salads at eachother, Kouga, Ayame, InuYasha and Renkotsu were throwing chunks of turkey and pork shoulder at eachother and Hiten, Abi, Bankotsu and Suikotsu were thrown and smearing candy yams at one another. Drinks, gravy, food, eating utensils and plates were flying everywhere meanwhile Kikyou and Sango came into the dining room, took one look before walking back to the living to go tend to their sick drunken boyfriends.

"And I thought I saw everything." Sango commented as Kikyou sighed, "I'll order Chinese."

----

One hour later everyone in the dining room were either lying on the ground or sitting on a chair, exhausted and bloated from the large mass of food that was in their stomach and that was being tossed and smeared against the walls.

"Man, I'm stuffed." Bankotsu groaned.

"Tell me something I don't know." Renkotsu blinked.

Hiten chuckled, "I'm giving a Christie Allen a run for her money..."

"Shut up Hiten." Kagome panted, wincing as she tried to sit herself up. She moaned in pain. "No more stuffing... no more food."

"Suikotsu?" Kouga called out leaning against the wall; he reached over and lightly slapped Suikotsu in the face.

"Hey buddy... wake up. You still owe me five dollars for thrashing 'Yash in the face with candied yams."

Suikotsu moaned in pain. "Shut you you... flea bitten wolf." InuYasha panted as he tried to stand up.

"Ohh, I feel as if I'm going to burst open." Bankotsu whined, resting his head on Kagura's lap.

She smeared mashed pie crust on his face and grinned lightly, "Stop whining, you baby."

Abi was the only one that wasn't as stuffed as everyone else was and walked out the room, to go check on the others; that weren't destroyed or covered in food. She found Sango and Kikyou eating Chinese takeout while Miroku and Sesshoumaru slept on their laps. "How cute." she commented while Kikyou patted a spot next to her.

Abi took the seat and sighed, "Things can't get worse more worse then this."

As she said that an emergency newsflash came on the TV screen as it showed a picture of InuYasha's house and police cars parked outside, "It seems earlier today there was a crime committed against our beloved mayor Dawns. In earlier findings, our mayor's house, land and beach condos were set on fire by a young Spanish looking man in his early twenties, known as Kouga Ookami. Here is a video clip of him setting our mayor's house and beach condos… on fire." The female newscaster said as they showed a video clip of Kouga burning the Mayor's backyard.

"_THIS GOES FOR ALL OF THE TRIBES THE DAWNS AND OTHER ANCESTORS COMMITED TO MY FOREFATHERS!!!" _Kouga yelled, ending in a maniacal laughter as the condo was burned to bits.

"You can't be serious." Kikyou gaped as Sango rubbed her forehead. "With Kouga, _Anything_ is almost possible."

"But Kouga never seemed to be the type to set things on fire." Kikyou said.

"Then maybe you don't know him the way I do." Sango groaned.

"KOUGA OOKAMI AND ACCOMPLICIES, COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!! YOU ARE UNDER ARREST FOR COMMITING THIRD DEGREE ARSENARY TO MAYOR DAWNS!!!" a shout came from outside. "COME OUT WITH YOUR HANDS UP!!"

Abi groaned and walked out of the room, "Why do all holidays end badly for me? Why must I go through this?"

She banged her head against the wall, "Why? Why? WHY?!"

**FINALLY IT ENDS!!! Good night Everybody! :D**


End file.
